Black History Month Tragedy, Suspected African American Whitney Houston Dies
by Con Hippy BEVERLY HILLS— The “Prom Queen of Soul” has died. Exact time or day of the death are foggy. Reports of a skinny blonde woman who had OD’d in a hotel room unfortunately were too common to bring police, paparazzi and paramedics
any sooner. According to the Beverly Hills PD, Ms. Houston was late for a cocktail party, and that spurned on concern from close friends and an immediate APB was issued. It was another two hours before two and two were put together.
Unsure of the cause of death, the LA County Coroner’s Office has just it ruled a “foreseeable, if not overdue death.” There are already plans in the black community to create a holiday in Black History month, most likely on the 29th. “We don’t want to have to hear that Bodyguard song every fuckin year,” JoHanna MiChell’e Jackson-Brown, Chair to the Black History Month Organizing Committee, told The Fancy, “bad enough Titanic is being re-released and we gotta hear that Celine Dion shit again.”
President Obama told reporters, “Ms Houston was a great influence on my political life, I wanna Dance with Somebody was the first song I snapped my fingers to as a boy. And uhm, uhm, uh, I Sang You’re All the Man That I Need to Joey, uh Vice President Biden, when I asked him to be my Veep.” A teary-eyed president tried to remain strong but left the press corps room, shortly after the announcement of the death.
E! has announced on its website that it will immediately start re-running episodes of Being Bobby Brown, around the clock while TBS has already begun the Bodyguard Marathon.
A private viewing for Chaka Khan, Dolly Parton, George Benson, and Annie Lennox, (author’s of I’m Every Woman, I Will Always Love You, Greatest Love of All, and Step by Step respectively) will occur his week, leftovers will be served on the weekend.