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Monthly Archives: July 2012

Obama T-Shirt/ Reelection Woes-a Semi Satire

A funny little article I presented to The Washington Fancy.

 

Obama Laments Reelection: “Look at the Mess I’ll Be Inheriting!”

by The Conservative Hippy WASHINGTON DC– The president’s reelection campaign took a new twist today. During a speech in which he reinforced his theme of asking the rich to pay more so than middle-class can pay less, from which he received a light obligatory applause, he reached in his back pocket a retrieved a folded piece of paper. In his famous natural delivery, the president returned to his old mantra of: look at the mess I’ll be inheriting. To a raucous applause he listed, “…an insurmountable debt, bloated government, and an unacceptable jobless rate…” as his inheritance from the previous four years. The crowd of mostly democrats was joined by a large number of Libertarians and swing voters in a standing ovation. The speech was capped with a promise to close Guantanamo Bay.

According to The Fancy’s White House Correspondent and Rose Garden Lawn Jockey, Miles O’Keefe, the president’s words were spoken with conviction and without the infamous teleprompter. The feelings of empathy from a crowd of mixed voters seemed to be unanimous. They all agreed that the previous presidency was solely to blame for the problems.

It was the last guy…

Afterward, WHCoS, Jack Lew tweeted : What the president meant was, “Remember when I had to inherit the mess I claimed to have inherited? Feel that way again. Bush Built That.” It just came out sideways.

Representatives of the Romney camp were in Tampa, preparing for the RNC by doing some Cigar research. When asked for a reaction, Campaign Cigar advisor, Sam “Big Sam” Rodriguez, replied, “I think he’s finally on to something. He’s gone a little retro. Shame about the last four years. Can’t wait until we spin this one. Gotta light?”

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Posted by on July 31, 2012 in Too good to be Fancy

 

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New York City Workshop: A Blog Writer’s Taxing Evasion

I enjoy my little office. Today it is a therapist’s waiting room. I just had a conversation with some friends about fellowship vs isolation. In 1998 I attended The Writer’s Studio. A small group of aspiring and professional writers met at The Village School in NYC once a week for ten weeks to receive and offer criticism and support for one another’s writing. The Chairman of the workshop would bring a piece in every week. It would usually be a page or two or three from a book. The Chairman felt that it was an exemplary excerpt, one which modeled a certain style or theme. We would sit around the table and dissect the words used, the devices used, and the time taken to create the modeled pages. We would in turn leave to write our own, in that style and theme. The next week we brought our offerings to the altar and subjected them to the pleasure of the temple priests and priestesses- each other. 

One week I was applauded for my Memorial Day barbecue essay. Another week I was nearly driven to tears (great song by the Police btw) because I had effectively written around a sensitive topic. I completely alluded the situation to which I was to write. I though I had been clever by so doing. I was called out, pushed around, and completely disrobed. I felt like the Lord Chamberlain, dismantled after losing the Trial by Stone in The Dark Crystal- raw, disfigured and outcast. It was not that harsh, mind you. In retrospect, in fact, it was a constructive and direct offering. In my defense it was also given down the nose of a few NYC elitists. Just saying.

I had failed to emulate two pages from the book Jesus’ Son by Denis Johnson. It was the scene where Billy Crudup and Jack Black-as overnight hospital orderlies- were stealing pills from the dispensary, and eating them. The major descrition and the bulk of the piece described examining the horrible squeaking sound emanating from a pair of shoes. At least that was the adapted movie version of the book version we studied. I chose to write about sitting in a therapists office, and being nervous and affected. I told of the young man sitting across from the speaker, as a mirror, who still wore a plastic band around his wrist, barely covering the stitches from a failed suicide attempt. I spoke completely around the stillness. I avoided the negative space and the tension. I spoke in codes and used highly descriptive words like, “it” and “something.” I did not want to accidentally identify with the speaker and the other boy, as they had each been a representation of me from one extreme to another. I felt I was being brave enough to mention therapy and mental illness, but evasive enough to protect myself, and isolate in a room full of people. I got got. It was evident to other writers. How dare I? I read the piece out loud. Then the Chairman asked that someone else read it out loud. It sounded clever and cunning and perfectly strange in my voice. It was inadequate and piecemeal and half-truth in the voice of another. 

Worse than trying to fool everyone else, worse than wasting class time, I had neglected myself and a chance to really b e known as a writer who tackles his own issues and speaks to them. I allowed fear to speak instead of courage. I used isolation instead of vulnerability in the face of emotion. I didn’t trust the process of creation, the workshop, or myself enough to describe in detail the two sides of the man sitting in a therapists waiting room, being called in separately, so he can begin discussing a shameful addiction. I avoided the topic and thought no one else would notice. 

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I trust in the fellowship of other writers. Personal criticism for my politics I expect. When there is no ideological argumentation, personal smudgery is the only option. Literary and creative criticism can be taken as personally- it oughtn’t. I need to be sure that as a writer I am never practicing evasion while preaching prudence. The fellowship of writers, keeps me from being too guarded. I had isolated in a room full of writer’s in the past. I can feel surrounded in my office by myself. It is important that I use that fellowship for enrichment. Hey, once in a while I actually step outside and interact in person too.

 
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Posted by on July 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Bruce Springsteen at Sixty-Two : The New Yorker

Look, I can’t stand the man’s politics. He doesn’t care if I do or not. I almost vomited when I had to hear Eddie Vedder, one of my Bromance fantasies, sing ‘My City of Ruins’ to Bruce, while he sat pompously wearing a medal around his neck, sitting next to the Great Poser of the United States.  I loved the song. Those are two of my favorite artists, singing about where I grew up. Worlds collided. I grew up ‘down the shore. I have been through the fun house and rode the great carousel on the Asbury Park Boardwalk. So that song has meaning to me past the 9/11 song it has become. I can not, will not, forsake The Boss. I grew up in Belmar, NJ. That’s where E Street is!

Bruce Springsteen at Sixty-Two : The New Yorker.

 

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

With ‘freedom’ in fashion, is libertarianism back? | Fox News

With ‘freedom’ in fashion, is libertarianism back? | Fox News.

 
 

A Conversation on our Conservatism

Last night the curlyhaired-blond-girl-with-whom-I-live and I were talking politics. We were recently inspired by an article which I have reposted in this blog called, “freedom in fashion” I had asked her if she heard the story about Mitt Romney speaking to the NAACP. She gave a very belabored, yeeeessss. I said, you know that it’s like swimming with the sharks. There was no way he was going in there and coming out alive. But he went in anyway because not having done so would have made him look as if he were anti-shark. It also would have given rise to arguments that he wouldn’t be able to defend because he took no part in them. So I applauded him for going in and speaking to a group of people from whom he would garner no more than one or two percent support. I said the same thing was true of Bill Clinton after he was first elected. I applauded him for having spoken at the Vietnam War Memorial. I don’t remember exactly the occasion. It might’ve been an anniversary of the erection, or it may have been anniversary of the Fall of Saigon. I applauded him for showing up. The man practically ran on having been a draft dodger. He took a lot of flak for being part of a generation that was defined by that war, and he was the sub section that actually didn’t fight that war. It was a losing battle for him. If he did not go he would’ve been called a dodger again. Especially by me. But he did go because he’s the president, and speaking at war memorials is what he ought to do. Principal before personality-as I like to say. I applauded Bill Clinton for having done that and I applaud Mitt Romney for having addressed the NAACP. We went on to discuss the audio clips that were available. Ones which showed him in a very negative light were readily available. Video and audio clips which showed his speech garnering applause and support – not so much. I’ve then related a Libertarian talkshow host who gave me some insight on that issue. It was that conservatives have been beating the drum of liberal media bias for over 40 years. There is no one in America and possibly no one in the whole world, who does not know that the American media has a liberal bias. If you think the American media does just a fine job, are you a liberal? If you think the American media performs  a fine centered news and information delivery, except for Fox, are you a liberal ? The point is is that for 40 years we’ve been accusing the media of not selling it straight. And selling is what they do-not telling. What has it gained? Nothing. It was then suggested that unless conservatives are truly committed to not supporting the companies and sponsors of these news outlets, nothing will be done. Conservative Hippyism teaches that one ought to clean up his own side of the street before he knocks on his neighbors doors. I’m not going to tell liberal media to clean up their act unless I know I’ve got my story straight. And I think I’m getting it straight. Our conversation continued in the fashion of, well what do we think about mitt Romney? And for the record, the curly-haired-blonde-girl-with-whom-I-live and I, will be voting for the same person just as we did in the Florida primary. We decided that it is more dangerous to vote for Mitt Romney, who 20 or 30 years ago would have been defined clearly, as a Democrat. We decided that it is more dangerous to continue to allow conservatism to be redefined in more and more liberal ways. If the left wants to continue to sell their souls to the socialists and communists who have done nothing throughout history but squash creativity and liberty, let them. If so-called Republicans just want to be popular and liked and continue their codependent crusade and continue to compromise their values under the guise of acceptance. Conservative Hippies will not. This is not throwing arms in the air and saying, screw it. That’s passive. Conservative Hippyism does not teach passivity. In fact, the opposite is true- Conservative Hippyism teaches action, do not mistake stillness for inaction. Do not mistake contemplation for procrastination. We cannot kill a snake until we see its head fully emerge from the grass. The socialist agenda may have to be allowed really rear its ugly head. The hardheaded will have to feel it to believe it. I don’t wish the hardships under such a government upon my fellow man. I do however wish a full and total revelation for my fellow man that they may see exactly what has become of what once was a strong and viable political party. Don’t tell me it hasn’t changed. FDR sold your party. Bill Clinton sold that transformation in only a way that he could, to the next generation. And the Poser in chief, the Poser of the United States is selling it to another. Let that sale be finalized-take that product home see how it works. See if there’s an even exchange and if you can get your money back when it doesn’t work for you, oh wait that’s how capitalists operate. Let’s let it get to that. I know how bad we think it is now, but all we’ve really lost are some of our first world problems. We ought not lose them at all, that’s not the point. Let’s let these socialist tactics come to their full fruition. We ought not stay away from the obvious things that will bring us harm, but when the subtle and less violent aspects of these very same evils are examined, then where do we stand? The further facts are these: you cannot become a Conservative governor of massachusetts. You can certainly be a Republican governor of Massachusetts. But you cannot be a conservative one, it doesn’t live there, true conservativism hasn’t lived and thrived in Massachusetts since Boston Harbor was a safe place from which to eat clams. I will not allow conservatism to be redefined as liberalism. I will not. I’m not saying Mitt Romney won’t make as good or better president than Barack Obama. I’m not saying that by a longshot. What I am saying is that we ought not just be complacent because the man who was elected has an R in parentheses after his name. The curlyhaired-blond-girl-with-whom-I-live and I will not be voting for Mitt Romney. And I know what the immediate reaction is: voting for third-party is just like voting for Barack Obama. So be it. You know what my vote will have? It will have integrity and it will have credibility.

Two very tenuous, yet very important things that no news media outlets, no single group based on politics or the color of your skin can offer. And these are not qualities which are determined by the outcome of an election. Have we forgotten how our government really works? The real battle is not for the presidency, it is for the citizen representation. Fill the House of Representatives and fill the Senate with conservatives and Bozo the clown will be truly accountable to that line of thought and theory and practice of government.

 
 

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Sen. Marco Rubio: Obamacare’s taxes punish individuals, small businesses – Orlando Sentinel

I like Marco.  I liked him since he accepted his election in 2010 and spoke of his parents’ nation-CUBA. He referred to their generation and a previous one being hoodwinked by the likes of Che and Fidel. I know Che is a cool symbol and a cult figure. He is a mass murderer and traitor to Cubans. Marco said it best: And when they were, they had dreams like we have now. And yet, they lost all those things through an accident of history.

An accident of history. Fidel and Che promised Cuba freedom from a ruling class, and sold their island to the soviets instead, to become that ruling class. I know, Micheal, their health system is far superior to ours. That’s why Fidel got so sick, and had his doctors flown in from Spain.  And before we get off on how the US embargo is the problem- Conservative Hippyism does not condone embargoes. It does not condone foriegn military bases in areas of zero conflict either. Gitmo should be a resort if our lease is still good. The prisoners can be transferred to cells in their own nations, tried by their own people, oh wait, there crimes were against us….and the cycle….

Conservative Hipyism teaches that no man is born better than another. That is the simple rule. It can be extrapolated into a million different platitudes and applied to as many political debates. Conservative Hipyism keeps it simple. No one was born better than me, I was not born better than anyone else. I was born. I have the responsibility to myself to take care of me and exercise my rights as they were granted to me, by a power greater than myself. That power is not gov. Gov. is made up of people, born no better than me.   You get the idea.

This is Marco’s recent take on recent events. I like the fact based argumentation- The Conservative Hippies demand it actually. I will say this sounds a little like a puff for a Veep gig, so be it. ‘Tis the season.

Sen. Marco Rubio: Obamacare’s taxes punish individuals, small businesses – Orlando Sentinel.

 
 

Honesty is more than a great Billy Joel song.

I like my little office. Today it is a welcome respit. The fan is on, it is cool and dark in here. I am looking for work, and wishing for return emails. It is independance Day. I should be taking time off. I ran my first competitive 5k this morning. I did so without my earphones and my interuptive runner’s app. A little voice on the app tells me my time, distance, pace, etc..I was ready to bring my iPhone. My wife recomended I didn’t. This got me a little anxious. That is how I train. I have a setlist, a playlist. The first song is Beastie Boys, the second is Coco Montoya, the third is Pearl Jam, the fourth is Bruuuuuce, the fifith is the Ramones……

I had to say that I am glad I didn’t bring them with me. They were not essential. In fact they may have been dangerous distractions. There were about four thousand peopele registered for this race. I started in the 10 minute mile pack, which was pretty packed. The footfalls and chatter were safe for me. I knew where people were. The jockeying and interaction kept me alert I had to stay present. That is honest. I guy like me can have trouble staying present and choose to escape the moment. I could either project to where I would like to be, or dwell on where I had just been. When I am staying present, I can enjoy where I am. I be. When I run, enjoying where I am changes. I try to make that change at about 6 minutes per kilometer, but it is usually just a bit slower, for now.

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The drummer at the second turn, Quinn Shaw, was awesome. Way to stay present, brother. I was especially appreciative on the last leg as I passed him the second time. I called out to him to see what his name was. He yelled, “Quinn.” That’s honest. It was a highlight.

I also need to stay present in my writing. You’ll notice I have rotated superheroes as my Gravatar. First it was Thanos (evil Titan most noted for obtaining the Infinity Gauntlet and distinguishing half the life in the universe with a snap of his finger-FYI, that is the monster after the credits in the Avengers.) It has also been The Green Lantern and Batman. So be it. For some projects it means staying current and beating other authors to the topic. If I can’t beat them to the topic and turn in a story first, it has to be a more engaging piece, or I am out a headline.I need to stay present when I write because I can stop typing and start judging. I will judge what I have already written. I will count the words and start editing before the drafting is through. I have really put a dent in my flow before. This type of distraction is dishonest. It does not allow me to be the author I am and delays the arrival of the author I wish to become. It is also dishonest for me to judge it at all. A Distinguished Toastmaster once told me (and yes, it was such an effective speech that I believe he was addressing me personally,) thast if I am speaking from the heart, there is no need for me to judge it. Be honest and you’ll never have to memorize your speech.

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Honestly I have a hard time thinking of what I want to write, in total, before I sit down. I prefer to sit with an idea and exercise it, or excorsize it, until it becomes its own story. If I am honest and speak from the heart it will show. I don’t need to stop, at this point in the process and start judging. I also don’t need to project in my writing. I feel the dishonest need to lose patience and sum it all up in one fell swoop. It is dishonest because I have lied to me and to my reader by evading the truth. It also is dishonest because it supposes some grandeur I have not earned. Having something you have not earned is not honest. I have a book in the works which is full of dishonesty. I have not worked on it enough. I lie to myself and say that it is good enough, and that I should edit what I have instead of going forth and continuing to develop the character through experience. I lie when I allow that character to evade issues and conversations which may bring me anxiety. How dare I permit my anxieties to amputate my characters story, or my character himself-metaphorically my character is amputated in the process?

If I stay as current, and more importantly present, as possible, things will work out. They might not work out perfectly, thank goodness. They may work out very poorly, which is an opportunity. They will work out regardless. I couldn’t have gotten to the finish line any faster than I did today. That’s how I ran it. I can make some changes and adjustments for the next race. That one will turn out the same way, the way it is supposed to if I stay present, not search for the finish line. I know where the finish line is, it’s near the sponsor tent, approximately 3.1 miles down a path from where I started. Independence is presence.

 
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Posted by on July 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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