The following is an unedited, unapproved, unpublished submission to The Washington Fancy: Your Leading Misleading Source for Politics
Obama Admits to Lip Syncing Presidential Oath: Used Prerecorded Swear
Obama, Beyonce take Lip Syncing Tour: Covering Milli Vanilli
–WASHINGTON D.C. The president has come clean today amidst rumors that his swearing in ceremony was lip synced. In a small press conference, President Obama admitted to mouthing the Oath of the Presidency while the pre recorded version from his last term was played. His detractors claim that this delegitimizes his presidency and demand transcripts, both long and short form. Obama eclipsed Donald Trump’s late announcement to pay ten million dollars for the original MP3, to prove it was fudged.
According to White House intern and Fancy cartoon contributor, Myles Standish, The President went as far as to produce a ventriloquist’s dummy during the last 15 seconds. “We were all very impressed and had just assumed that this was just one more hidden talent he possessed.We just thought it was creepy that the dummy was Joe Biden.” As long as the left hand remained on a book (whether it was the bible or not is another article.) the oath remains legit, regardless of where the right hand was. The crowd noise and applause during the private indoor ceremony had been written off as “general acceptance of the executive popularity at any given time.”
Only after Beyonce’s inauguration-anthem-karaoke was unmasked, did the Pres. feel pressure to come clean. Critics and fans alike hail this as a stand-up thing to do, since the last black duet to deny obvious lip syncing was Milli Vanilli.